Wholy Holy
Day 7
September 27th — 2018

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Re-negotiating my relationship with the color black. What does it mean to be embraced by blackness - to move fluidly through it without fear of what is negative about that embrace. I’m also thinking about the general demonization of the color black - the treatment of this color as something that is less than. How can I re-imagine black as something of beauty?

Journal:

Day 7 Recap

The struggle to be seen. The struggle to protect the placement of our bodies. The struggle.

This was by far the most emotional day. The most emotional performance I’ve done since getting to Grand Rapids. I was in a very vulnerable state. This performance was different than anything that I have ever done.

Before hand, I thought about David Hammons’ body paintings and this idea of connectivity. The connection between a movement and an object. The object I chose was black paint. It was a reference to my blackness but also a reference to the love for my black skin.

The performance was simple - use my body as a brush and paint this canvas with black. The act was not as simple as I had thought. It became a struggle to move - to get my body from point a to point b. I started reflecting on internal struggles. How hard it is for us to progress. Why do we have to struggle to be seen? Why do we have to struggle to move forward?

I then also started thinking about my movements. The way my body laid on the canvas. The way Mike Brown’s body laid in the middle of the street the day he was murdered. And everyone watched. I hate to bring that up because it is such a sensitive subject for me and for so many others. But how do we protect black bodies? How do we offer safe spaces for those struggling?

At the end of the performance, I stood up and walked away. Something many others don’t get to do. I don’t have many words to explain what that felt like but I’m thankful.

With love.

Text by Le’Andra LeSeur
Documentation and Images by Joshua Solas